It's giving "Sex, but make it Sesame Street."
Follow me on a journey where I spew out a bunch of spitfire-y, unprovoked, NSFW observations while defining uncommon sexuality terms for every letter of the English alphabet.
A- Aftercare: The penultimate scene within the cycle of the BDSM scene post-negotiation and play; Each partner takes time to decompress, de-stimulate the body, and be orgasmically mindful of what sick shit just occurred. Both top and bottom bring the most important things they know would help facilitate sub/topspace after solo or partnered play. The next time you’re in the mood for some perverted pleasure, have them ready at arm’s length to savor immediately.
Thanks for reading Crystallized Sexuality, LLC! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
Subscribe
B- Bussy: “Bussy” or “Boy/Boi pussy” just has a better sound (and taste) to it than its most notable name- asshole. Always give good pussy wordplay credit where it’s due!
C- Crisco: As a certified camel toe, A.K.A. “Ham Wallet” owner, many vulva-bodied folks are packing meat, too! A thin layer of Crisco, which is a vulvar care-approved skin protectant, can be applied to the freshly washed outer vulvar folds and underwear lines to reduce dryness, friction, and irritation.
D- Dilator: Vaginal/front hole dilators are a set of varied, tube-shaped, hard plastic devices, used from smallest to largest to gradually stretch the width and depth of the vaginal canal post-medical intervention. Used by both cisgender and trans* vulva owners, dilators help create or maintain the shape of the vagina and reduce painful reproductive health exams and sex.
E- Ecosexuality: Annie Sprinkle and Beth Stephens symbolically married planet Earth in 2008, and from their ceremony emerged a new, radically queer environmental movement: ecosexuality. To read more, request a copy of their book, Assuming the Ecosexual Position: The Earth as Lover from your local library!
F- Foot fetish: Whose feet deserve to be worshipped? MINE! ;) Tip for proof: $crystaaaal
G- Golden Shower: Have no shame in peeing in the shower? Don’t think twice about taking a squat outdoors (even with a front hole)? If you have recent STI-negative test results, I challenge you to take “water sports” exploration to the next level and lean into golden showers with pee, squirt juice, or bussy fluid landing wherever you want on your body, or someone elses…
H- Honey pack: An FDA UN-approved gas station sexual arousal drug with the consistency and alleged taste of edible honey syrup. DO NOT EAT THE HONEY PACK. DO NOT FEED THE HONEY PACK TO CHILDREN!
I- Intersex: Take part of your lunch break to watch an educational video learning first-hand from a person with intersex chromosomes, answering candid questions about their life experiences, and more.
J- JOI: Jerk-Off Instructions (JOI) is a hot way to explore virtual (or in-person) sex. It’s also a way to incorporate kinky concepts such as orgasm denial, edging, and Dominance/submission into typically mundane masturbation practices.
K- Kiss: You didn’t ask, but my favorite songs with “Kiss” in the title are: “Kiss It Better” - by Rihanna; “Kiss Of Life”- by Sade; and the iconic “Kiss From a Rose”- by Seal. K! I! S! S! KISS!
L- Lump: If you read this far, this is your reminder to periodically check for abnormal lumps, moles, or growths on your breasts, neck, and testicles. #FuckCancer
M- Misogynoir: noun meaning “the specific hatred, dislike, distrust, and prejudice directed toward Black women (dictionary.com).” Spouting misogynoir on a public platform can make (Black) men rich and famous, even when there’s no credibility to the speaker’s “expertise.” When one Kevin Samuels falls, another random Black man is happy to gain notoriety being the incel community’s “Devil’s Advocate,” actively discrediting the plight and legitimate fear for Black women/femmes’ well-being that we face every day.
N- NRE (New Relationship Energy): this term originated within the polyamorous community to describe the euphoric feels one has when entering into the discovery phase of a sexual or romantic relationship. This could apply to monogamous daters, too, but experiencing the effects of NRE can be difficult for longer-term partners who feel ignored or overlooked in favor of the exciting new person. It’s possible for polyam folks to continue making time to treat their primary partner(s) as the “ultimate prize” while inviting the opportunity to explore the newness of a relationship journey through compersion.
O- Ohnut Wearables: One solution to discomfort or pain during vaginal sex is the Ohnut wearables! Check out the picture tutorial below for instructions on how to use Ohnut wearables.
P- Permission: In a D/s relationship dynamic, asking for permission before interacting with other people may be a part of their protocol. If you’re at a kinky event and scope out a cute lil submissive tenderoni, make sure you receive explicit permission from their Dom(me) to play with them.
Q- Queefing: It’s just air that’s trapped inside the vagina. Most likely queefs will not smell or cause harm to the body, unlike the potential of coming into contact with other bodily fluids (ex: vomit, feces, etc.)
R- Rimming: an oral-to-anal sex position involving moving the tongue around the rim of the bussy hole. Remember, “You gotta eat the booty like groceries!” Shout out Jhene Aiko!
S- STI Testing: For those with an active sex life, STI testing can be a free cost, painless, and reassuring way to #KnowYourStatus. STI test specimens can be collected via mouth swab (oral gonorrhea/chlamydia), anal swab (anal gonorrhea/chlamydia), finger prick (HIV, syphilis, HepC), and urine sample (gonorrhea/chlamydia). Even in monogamous relationships and 100% barrier-using partnerships, testing once a year or before/after every new sex partner can help maintain a manageable sexual health status. STI/HIV testing locations can also refer folks with a positive STI/HIV test result to start a treatment regime the very same day. Completing treatment medications in full is the best way to avoid transmitting STIs to another sex partner. Input your zip code into this CDC STI/HIV testing directory to find the nearest clinic in your area!
T- Tickling: I’m not ticklish, but my favorite thing to do is tickle someone I know who’s ticklish (the sadist in me POPPED out)! Tickling isn’t reserved for the young or the pedicurist, but a way to explore stimulating skin sensations and intimate touch without taking off any clothes.
U- (Period) Underwear: One of the newest innovations in menstrual flow management is period underwear, and I’m a huge fan. (Disclaimer: I’m not repulsed by seeing or touching my own menstrual blood in order to hand wash a used panty.) Pads were always too irritating, and a heavy night flow could ruin my fave PJs, so I recently used my FSA card to buy a set of Period. brand underwear. A plus to the reusable period underwear is that they now come in so many comfortable, gender-affirming styles that (besides the extremely dense material) you’d never know it was catching blood!
V- Virtual Sex: Have a favorite porn performer that offers to do in-person services, but you can’t afford the cost to host them for the buss down of your fantasies? Request a virtual sex play session incorporating JOI, kink, or voyeurism into the mix! Virtual sex is much more common in the tech age, so there’s no shame in wanting to see some nudes live and in color. Do not record or screenshot naked people without their explicit consent!
W- Whips: I’m new to the plethora of impact play tools used in kinky relationships, but whips can stir up some complicated feelings stemming from the generational trauma of tools used to control enslaved Africans during the transatlantic slave trade. However, on a lighter, unrelated note, watch Steve Harvey learn how to crack a whip LMFAO
X- X-Rated: Read this short article on the history of the Motion Picture Association of America’s induction of the X and NC-17 rating system. TL;DR: The iconic 1972 smut film, “Deep Throat” co-opted the X-rating as a marketing tool, and the rest was history….
Y- Yoni Massage: Honestly, I’m still not quite sure what a “yoni” is!? (note: Crystal Google’d the definition after asking the question) However, I think it involves the majestic powers of the pussy, and a Yoni massage is like rubbing a genie’s magic bottle to stimulate the treasures within. Doctors do recommend sticking to yoni hand massages rather than inserting yoni eggs or crystals into the vaginal canal.
Z- Zelophile- A person sexually aroused by their own or their partner's jealousy. #StayToxic
Comments